“But I call to God, and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.” Psalms 55.16-17
Over the course of the last few months I have heard God say “you are meant for more, you are calledfor a better purpose”. I’ve been confused about this, honestly. Me? Really,God? What do you have in mind? I think about it from time to time but still wait to see if God is using my struggles as something better that is yet to be seen.
A couple nights ago, I was reading and I came across these words: There is hope in the calling. Those words jumped out at me, more than anything I have read in a while. My heart skipped and I felt this joy and peace for a moment. Then it was gone. I kept thinking over and over in my mind…hope in the calling. What did God want me to understand from that? Was it another way of saying, “Hey, I’ve got something special in mind for you”? I thought and thought about those four words.
Some days when I come here to write, I whole-heartedly believe in what I am writing. I am positive and confident in God’s power. However, some days I am not. I went to bed with a bad attitude last night (I shamefully admit it). Then I woke up the same. I sat down and prayed about it. As I was getting ready this morning, I asked God why He was letting me have these small set-backs? Why wasn’t He fully healing me?….I pray every day for it, God. I share things about you for others to read. I call on you daily for everything. I praise you. Why are you not answering?
And then, I heard this…”But you never turn away, even when you want to, you keep calling on me”. There it was. It hit me like a ton of bricks. There is HOPE in the CALLING. Not necessarily His calling on me to do something better (which could still be true) but MY calling on HIM. He doesn’t want me to give up on Him or myself. There is hope. I must still be patient. He is definitely making me work hard on that one…He knows I need it. He knows too that our relationship is not yet where it needs to be or I wouldn’t have those days of doubt. I am a work in progress.