I had a thought driving to work this morning. Throughout the past few months as I have dealt with this change in my life, I have thought about good days vs. bad days. When people ask how I am doing, I generally say, “I have good days and bad days but I guess I’m doing alright”.
I tend to look back on the week and see it as a bad week with some good days. I realized I need to turn that thinking around to something more positive. I need to see it as a good week with a few bad moments. You really are what you think. If you think it you will be it. Proverbs 23: 7 says “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he”.
I admit I haven’t always been the most positive person, at least towards myself. I can encourage a friend or someone in my family all day long, but I could never quite find a way to encourage myself or to believe in the things that other people would say to me. I would think “Oh they’re just saying that to be nice”. I realize that is probably why I came to where I am today. I could blame my past or bad relationships but that’s just the easy way out. Ultimately, we are in control of our feelings and thoughts. With negative thinking, we believe more of what goes through our own mind that the words that come from someone who loves us, including God. I am working hard every day to change that.
Last night I woke up and wasn’t feeling so well. I was having some anxiety. Nothing serious but I usually don’t just wake up feeling that way. I know it is due to some changes I am making this week (good but difficult changes) I laid there and tried to do some deep breathing to calm myself and as I took a breath I would say, peace of God in, and then I would exhale and say, stress and worry out. I slowly started to doze back off to sleep, still repeating that and then I saw (or dreamed maybe, Im not sure) that God was taking all of the stress into his hands and releasing it and as He did it took the shape of a white dove and flew away. This morning when I had my prayer time I heard a still, small voice say Psalm 55, so I looked it up…
Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.
I said, “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away.
I would flee far away and stay in the desert
I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.
It overwhelms me when something like that happens…I always take it as the most loving sign God can give me. His word.
God didn’t give us a beautiful life and then expect us to ignore it. We are given this life because we are strong enough to live it, with His help and through our own faith and obedience to Him.