I stood in the snow, looking over the banks of the river. The low temperatures had caused the surface of the water to freeze overnight. It looked as if the river had stood still.
I am often amazed at how the water continuously flows, every second of every day. But today it looked as if it had come to a complete halt. It was an unusual yet beautiful scene. Our church services had been canceled due to the snow squall that had blown in with blizzard-like force the night before, the winds whipping across the road so fiercely that it was making our commute back home almost impossible. But with the morning came warmer temperatures, calm air and blue skies. I ventured out with my camera to capture the scene that had been created overnight. I had my quiet time with God along the river, crunching through the snow. I spoke with Him and told Him I was open to whatever He wanted me to know.
Then I began to think about the stillness of the water. It seemed calm on the surface but there was still so much going on underneath. The river still flowed. I couldn’t see it but I could hear the ice cracking as the water below kept moving. I immediately compared this to my relationship with God. So many times, it seems as if He is unnervingly still and quiet. I want to hear from Him and yet it seems as if He is nowhere to be found. It is in those times that I have to remember that He is still working in me and for me. I may not always see it, just as I couldn’t see the water moving but He still working behind the scenes and below the surface to keep His plan for my life in motion. It is in those moments that I must be the one to be still and know that He is God.
“Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10
WordPress just informed me that today is my two year anniversary with them. Two years of being a blogger. Never really thought that was something I would be. If you had told me that, I would have laughed. Two years….
Two years ago, I jumped into the blogging world not knowing what I was doing really. All I knew was that my demons were chasing me and I needed a way to bring something positive to my life through photography and writing. Last January, I dreaded the turning of the calendar. I didn’t want to see that month come into focus because two years ago, it had been the worst month of my life thus far. But I survived it.
This year, I didn’t even really think about it. My transformation continues and this time around it didnt seem so bad. (So far…the month is only half over!) The phasing out of anxiety isn’t a quick process by any means. I’m sorry to say that for those who are going through it but it’s an honest truth. If I were to put a different spin on it though, instead of calling it a “phasing-out” process, I could say that the “transformation” God is making in my life isn’t a quick process. More so, it has been the beginning of a new relationship. That’s really what it’s all been about..and any good relationship takes time to build a solid foundation.
Just as when you meet someone for the first time and you start dating, you get to know that person. You learn as much as you can about them and you want to spend as much time with them as possible. You begin to like them more and more because of how they make you feel. You feel warm and fuzzy inside and begin to feel yourself falling in love. You can’t imagine your life without this person and feel like a part of you that has been missing for so long is now making you whole. You see your future together and you commit your life to theirs.
I have been lucky enough to have all of that happen to me and to fall in love (and recently become engaged to) a wonderful man that God brought into my life. Even better news is that I can have all of that through a relationship with Christ also. Although I already knew who God was, I didn’t begin to fully know Him until this totally new relationship began two years ago. As I leaned on Him more and more to get through the days that were dragging me down, I began to crave more of Him. I wanted to know more. I prayed, read scriptures, listened to worship music and began to live my life more as He would want me to. I still have a lot of work to do, but I have changed in so many ways.
Open your heart today and allow yourself to have that relationship with Him. No matter where you are in your life or in your walk, it’s never too late. It may take you two months or two years but trust during that time that God is working on you and keep focused on Him and how He is changing your life for the better.