I read a quote recently by Ann Voskamp that really got my attention: “Just that maybe … maybe you don’t want to change the story, because you don’t know what a different ending holds.”
You don’t know how many times I have wished that I had never had that first anxiety attack, that first panic attack, that first moment of spiraling-out-of-controlness. You don’t know how many times I wished in those darkest days that my husband hadn’t struggled to find ways to help me or words to say, or that my daughter didn’t have to look at me with fear in her eyes every time I had an off day. Some days I do indeed wish my story had been written differently. But then I am reminded of a lyric in a song by Natalie Grant: “When did I forget that You’ve always been the King of the world?”
The One who holds the world, holds me in His hands as well. He has written my story for a reason. Is it always easy? No. But as the story was being written, He did something else amazing. He equipped me to live out my story by humbling myself to Him. Together we conquer the parts of the story that threaten to defeat me. He gives me sturdy shoes for the rocky road. He makes the crooked ways straight. He calms my spirit and centers me when the winds spiral around me. I am better today because God is my strength and my refuge.
Where would I be if the story had played out differently? I wouldn’t be as close to Him as I am today. I wouldn’t be able to tell others about what He has done for me like I am right now. I wouldn’t be in a church with people I consider family. I couldn’t have written a book. I wouldn’t have met amazing friends who share the same struggles as I do. I couldn’t have sat with a close friend, a family member or a young boy with fear in his beautiful blue eyes, and say “I know exactly how you feel because I’ve been there.”
Our stories are not always comfortable. They will often shake us to our very core. Accept where you are but do not accept the lie that you are alone. In the darkness, God is the light. In our weakness, He is our strength. Let Him cover you in peace and let His light stream into the shadows. Let Him pour His love into the deep crevices of brokenness. Let the author of your story show you why it was written.