Do You See It?

I see you, families…outside in your yard playing chase, kickball, drawing on the sidewalk.

I see you, Pastors…learning new ways to reach your congregations and encourage them.

I see you, doctors and nurses…working extra long shifts, not eating, barely sleeping.

I see you, people outside hospitals…encouraging and thanking those doctors and nurses.

I see you, musicians, singers, entertainers…going live and giving your fans free shows because concerts have been cancelled.

I see you, Dads…posting videos of yourself being silly with your daughters in choreographed dances.

I see you, teachers…missing your students and still helping them any way you can from a distance.

I see you, parents…becoming home school teachers and making it work.

I see you, restaurant owners….offering delivery and curb side service so we can still
“eat out.”

I see you, truck drivers…making sure deliveries get made when a lot of odds are against you.

I see you, employees…bonding with your coworkers over teleworking and adjusting the best you can.

I see you, neighbors…checking in on each other.

I see you…you there online…making sure people in need are not going without.

I see you, friends…noticing a little more of this world God has made and the beauty of it.

I see you all slowing down. I see God coming into focus. I see hearts opening. I see blessings. I see goodness. I see it all. Do you see it?

I Got You

I feel like I earned my Ph.D in anxiety when I suffered through it all those years ago. Seeing everyone around me and our entire world in a heightened sense of fear makes me just want to say, “Hey, I’ve been there. It’s okay. I got you!”

I understand that my anxiety was an internal force and not the result of a global pandemic but the fear is the same, the feelings are the same and the will to trust God is still the best source of peace, but not always an easy thing to do.

Not living in fear is waking up every day with the mindset of faith. It’s stepping out in the midst of uncertainty and trusting. It’s deciding that we are going to believe what God has said.

I remember reading a quote once that said the present we live in is the line we are walking. Imagine each day that you are standing on a line. Anything to the left of the line is your past. Regret, times of sorrow, or maybe a longing for how things used to be, for happier times. Anything to the right of the line is your future. Worries about what may happen or fear of what is to come. Uncertainty.

But today, in this very moment, is where you stand in the middle of the line. It is where the past and present meet. Our goal is to stay balanced on that line, not to step left or right of it. This is a truth I had to learn to get past the worst of my anxiety. I would sit and think about how my life was before I truly knew what a mental illness was, and I’d miss that girl I used to be. I was constantly stepping left of the line. Then I’d worry about how I would get through the tomorrows to come, and if I would ever get better. I spent a whole lot of time to the right of that line. But then I realized that I only needed to take one day at a time. To stand dead center of that line and to let God show me how to balance.

So today as you look left to a time when the word “virus” wasn’t meshed into our vocabulary so often and you felt safe, or when you look right and wonder how all of this will play out and when, simply stop and ground yourself on that line. God’s word says to not be anxious for tomorrow. So decide today to believe what God has said.

I got you… and He’s got you.

 

From Here…to There

Me again. Two posts in a week. I have a lot in my head. It has to go somewhere and it’s usually here or in a journal. I’ve decided to share more this week than keep it to myself.

*SIGH*

Have you done as much sighing as I have lately? Ya’ll know I have anxiety issues. If you’ve followed me along this journey, then you know that’s why it began.

A couple weeks ago as the COVID-19 virus began to invade our personal space more and more, I remained relatively calm. I had no idea why. I even saw posts online about how people similar to me, with anxiety, weren’t freaking out. Maybe because we live our lives in a constant state of worst case scenarios.  I really don’t know.

Then last weekend I came down with a terrible headache. I treated it with meds and assumed it would be gone the next day. No go. It continued all through the week. I had a headache in some form every day for seven days.

When I did a few minutes of yoga this morning, I realized my body was completely tense. Every single muscle felt like a tight rubber band, especially my neck. No surprise my head was hurting so badly. I realized that I most likely hadn’t been immune to the anxiety that has come with this virus and quarantining. I think it was most likely running silently in the background, much like an app on your phone that runs and slowly drains your battery. My anxiety has been slowly draining me and affecting my body.

Tonight I came across a post by Kirk Cameron. He spoke about the fear and uncertainty we all are facing right now. If you’ve ever had an anxiety disorder, you know that uncertainty is a nasty little word. We don’t like not knowing what is going to happen. We like schedules, and set dates and times. We like to know outcomes when possible. But this situation isn’t something we can get a definitive answer on. The timeline is sketchy at best.

But as Kirk spoke, he talked about how God is using this time to reset our hearts and refocus our minds. I immediately thought about how God had used my anxiety to do the same thing for me seven years ago. I went through an uncertain time. It was completely new to me and each day was like stepping into the unknown. I had no choice at the time but to fully put my trust in God. To draw nearer to Him. To lean fully on Him and not my own understanding. In the process He reset me and helped me point my focus in His direction.

Where else can we go today but to God? Yes, there is fear and uncertainty. Joshua 1:9 says to not be afraid or dismayed for God is with us wherever we go. Put your trust there. As someone who has walked through the unknown and came out on the other side, I encourage you to let God get you from here…to there.

Don’t Get Lost in the Dark, Be the Light

 

I met Mr. Connor in the Walmart parking lot this morning. It was no mistake. I intended to go to Walmart early today, but God gave us a beautiful spring morning, with birds chirping and a sunrise that distracted me and kept me on the front porch taking pictures. I finally made it to the store, got what I needed and headed out the door through the parking lot. That’s when I saw him. This fragile looking man wearing a mask, gripping a cart with one hand, his other hand severely crippled and held close to his chest. He shuffled his feet slowly as he made his way toward the store and I knew what I needed to do.

I stopped him and asked if he would like help getting his things in the store. He seemed a bit surprised but said yes, if I didn’t mind, he’d like some help. I ran my things to the truck, unloaded them and met him at the front of the store. We made our way to the produce section for some blueberries, then on to frozen foods for some biscuits. He pointed out that he loved blueberries with sugar on them and a hot biscuit. We dropped off his medicine at the pharmacy and he said he’d like to see if there were any birdhouses for the bluebirds in his yard. We chatted along the way and it turned out that he knew my Grandpa and my Daddy’s side of the family. He kept saying I was a “real nice lady” and I reminded him these are hard times for everyone and we have to help each other when we can.

The last items he needed were in the back of the store and I got them while he waited so he wouldn’t have to walk more than necessary. I scanned his items and bagged them, then asked him if he would mind if I paid for them. He handed me his debit card and said “no, I can’t let you do that.” I told him I’d love to bless him today and pay for them. He finally accepted and we made our way to his car. I loaded his things and he just stood there looking at me when I was done. He asked then if he could give me a hug. I told him I wouldn’t want to make him sick and I hesitated, but then wondered when was the last time he may have had a hug. So I leaned in, away from his face and gave him a hug. He said I was the sweetest person he’d ever met and he appreciated me so much.

I got in my truck and cried. Because that’s what I do. I’m a crier. I don’t pretend to be a perfect person. I have many flaws and oftentimes I have selfish thoughts and become easily frustrated. But God put this man in my path today and I was able to bless him and in return be blessed myself.

We are living in unprecedented times right now. I am currently working from home, which is totally new for me. Every day something new closes, more people contract this virus and more people die. It is easy to become bored and agitated right now.

I feel unsettled at times myself, wondering what will happen in our country and our world. It feels similar to how I felt after 9/11. Unsure of what the future held and sad at how much our country had changed. But we all came together and helped each other. It was us against the enemy, not us against each other. So I remind you of the same in this situation. It is us against this pandemic, not us against each other.

Yes this is new to us all. But look around you and see what needs to be done. See who needs help and find ways to come together instead of being further divided. Look for the helpers, BE the helpers. God calls us to be His disciples. It doesn’t matter where you are, who you are or what the situation is. You may be the answer to someone’s prayer. Maybe I was the answer to Mr. Connor’s prayer today. Don’t get lost in the dark. Instead, be the light.