“God Knew”

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Three years ago, God knew what condition my heart was in. He knew that it had been battered and bruised. He knew it had been given to the wrong person many times over and always returned in tiny little pieces. He knew not to answer my prayers…the ones that begged Him to please let them love me back.

Three years ago, God lined up the right road, the right friend, the absolute perfect timing for a phone call, the right emotions and the exact moment for me to find the one He had been saving for me. He knew I would need someone who could accept a single mom and an adorable freckle-face into his life. Someone who could care for a child who wasn’t his own.

Three years ago (and many before that, no doubt) God knew that I was going to face one of the hardest times in my life…anxiety, fear, depression. He knew that I was going to need someone with a gentle hand and a strong heart.  A heart big enough to love me the way I needed to be loved and brave enough to see past the anguish I was dealing with and still see someone he loved. Someone to hold my hand in church and pray with me as well as for me.

Three years ago, God knew that the plan He had started many years before would take shape. That every single closed door, fallen tear, disappointment and chance that never got taken was actually redirecting me down the right road. A broken road that God himself was blessing all along.

Three years ago today, I met someone I truly call my best friend. I no longer question why God let my heart break so many times. It was all a part of His grand design. Love is no longer that thing people talk about, sing about and write about that I just don’t “get”.

Three years ago, it became clear to me why love is patient and kind….why love is never boastful or conceited, rude or selfish….why it does not take offense and is not resentful…why it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes…and why it never fails.

Never give up on the hope that God is planning someone just for you : )

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“The Bigger Picture”

“If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.”

A couple nights ago I had a dream. I was driving along a road and it suddenly started to become very steep. There were tall, rocky cliffs on the left and the right side was the edge of a cliff. A complete drop-off. About half way up this steep hill, I saw that some trees had fallen and the road was blocked. There was no place to turn around so I had no choice but to back down the hill. I kept thinking I could end up over the side if I didn’t travel carefully. I backed up a little bit and when I looked back up the hill, I realized that there was a path to the left that I didn’t notice before and it was wide enough for me to drive through. I moved forward, passed the fallen trees and made my way to the top.

As I told Greg about the dream the next day, I realized how it was a perfect metaphor for how God works in our lives. When we are so close to our struggles, the things that are blocking our way, we can’t focus. All we can see is the problem at hand. But if we step back and take a look at the bigger picture, God’s plan for us, then we can see how He can open up a path and lead us to where we need to go.

I believe God brought that dream to me. I needed it. It’s so easy to become consumed with our issues, that we forget that God already has our plan, our road, laid out. Parts of it are smooth and paved and parts are bumpy and full of potholes and obstacles. We just simply need to remember that He is in control of the wheel. The ride will be a lot easier if we accept that.

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps”