“I Will Not Be Hindered By Lies”


January. This month has been haunting me for quite a while. It was January of last year that my panic attacks hit me hard, completely debilitating me. I never really figured out why but I keep thinking to myself, “If I can make it through January (and then February) I will be okay”. So far, I am trying to simply be more optimistic and smile even when I don’t feel like it, laugh when I’m not sure it’s in me and force myself to do something positive even when it’s hard. And as I go, I find myself feeling better. But this morning I realized that isn’t enough. God made it known to me that in the fear I was facing and associating with this month, I still wasn’t trusting in Him as I should be.

I will be honest, there are a lot of times when I know He wants to walk side by side with me but I act like a toddler with a temper tantrum, wanting things my own way and screaming, “Not right now…I don’t wanna!” No, I don’t really do that but you get the picture.

Then there are the moments I do stroll alongside Him but I’m like a sixteen year-old with an iPhone. Head down, only looking up occasionally to say “Huh? What did you say?” Not fully involved in the conversation or appreciating the friend who is willing to “hang out” with me.

So I prayed about these things this morning and God led me to Ephesians 6: 10-12 (Amplified Bible):

10” In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].

11 Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil.

12 For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere”

From this I understand that the enemy wants nothing more than to remind me that January was bad for me last year. He wants me to believe that this month is cursed and that I will not make it through. But with these words from God I know that I can continue on the journey that He has me on. That I will fulfill whatever He has in store for me through the struggles I overcome on a daily basis. I will not be hindered by lies, deceit and strongholds, whose only purpose is to distort or confuse my thinking. Any lie, with our permission, will gain control of our emotions and change our behavior. These things do not come from God.

But these things do:

22 But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

23 Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]. – Galatians 5: 22-23

What are you facing today? Whatever it is, please let these powerful verses speak to you. Personally I am writing them down and carrying them with me this month : )


“Resolution #1”

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content – Philippians 4:11

I am currently reading “The Resolution for Women” (along with a couple other books). I have developed a habit of reading two or three books at a time. I used to think this was a bad thing, but I realized there are certain days, when I am in certain mood and there are certain books that give me what I need. Having said all that, I want to take time to talk about the “Resolution”. I hope to blog on each of the thirteen resolutions eventually, as I go through the book. For now, here is number one:


Honestly, this is a hard one for me. It’s going to require some serious action and prayer on my part. I have always been in a hurry to get on with things. How many of us say “When I get married I will be happy”, “When I have a baby I will be happy”, or “When I finally get that dream job I will be happy”? I’m certain most people have done this a time or two or maybe all your life. I know I have.

The thing we have to remember is this…WE are responsible for our own happiness. Someone once told me that your happiness is always inside of you. You just have to find it. And yes, sometimes the right circumstances factor into that happiness but it is ultimately within yourself. Now, I know you have probably heard all of this before and maybe you’re thinking, blah, blah, happiness, up to you, blah, blah. Trust me, been there, said that.( Maybe even today). BUT as I was writing for today’s blog, I started out on a different topic, then God said, no..stop right there. We need to move in a different direction. Sometimes He helps ME while I’m trying to encourage others. Hence today’s topic. Yes, God I hear you…loud and clear!

If we continually wait on that perfect set of elements to line up in a nice little circle and surround us before we can say we are truly happy and enjoying our lives, then we will be waiting a long time and we will have missed out on the journey.  Life is a series of events, ups and downs. We have to learn to be content with where we are and what we have. Often, this takes loads of prayer and trust on our part and the acceptance that we are where God needs us to be at this very moment and find a way to be content. It kind of takes the burden off when you look at it that way. Just by saying God is in control and I’m going to sit here and be happy about it.

It will be a challenge. I know it will be for me. But I resolve to give it my very best effort. Think about how you can incorporate this resolution into your life and let me know how it goes! : )

“Hope in the Calling”


“But I call to God, and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and he hears my voice.” Psalms 55.16-17

Over the course of the last few months I have heard God say “you are meant for more, you are calledfor a better purpose”. I’ve been confused about this, honestly. Me? Really,God? What do you have in mind? I think about it from time to time but still wait to see if God is using my struggles as something better that is yet to be seen.

A couple nights ago, I was reading and I came across these words: There is hope in the calling. Those words jumped out at me, more than anything I have read in a while. My heart skipped and I felt this joy and peace for a moment. Then it was gone. I kept thinking over and over in my mind…hope in the calling. What did God want me to understand from that? Was it another way of saying, “Hey, I’ve got something special in mind for you”? I thought and thought about those four words.

Some days when I come here to write, I whole-heartedly believe in what I am writing. I am positive and confident in God’s power. However, some days I am not. I went to bed with a bad attitude last night (I shamefully admit it). Then I woke up the same. I sat down and prayed about it. As I was getting ready this morning, I asked God why He was letting me have these small set-backs? Why wasn’t He fully healing me?….I pray every day for it, God.  I share things about you for others to read. I call on you daily for everything. I praise you. Why are you not answering?

And then, I heard this…”But you never turn away, even when you want to, you keep calling on me”. There it was. It hit me like a ton of bricks. There is HOPE in the CALLING. Not necessarily His calling on me to do something better (which could still be true) but MY calling on HIM. He doesn’t want me to give up on Him or myself. There is hope. I must still be patient. He is definitely making me work hard on that one…He knows I need it. He knows too that our relationship is not yet where it needs to be or I wouldn’t have those days of doubt.  I am a work in progress.