“In The Middle”

“Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me” – Casting Crowns


And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you – Psalm 9:10

I often find myself in the middle. I can be so close to where God wants me to be but something holds me back. I can’t always offer a full surrender. It’s that part of me that still wants to be in control. That part of me that hesitates because I can’t see what is ahead and what the outcome will be. This has a lot to do with being an anxiety sufferer/worrier and if you are one as well, you know that we have a need to always know what is going to happen in order to be prepared for whatever arises. I laugh at myself for this because it is completely irrational and not at all in line with how a Christian should think. Thus, I am in the middle.

As the song I quoted above goes, “Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control?” God is trying to make me into the person I am meant to be but sometimes I halt the construction. I let Him get me, where? To the middle. Often times just past the middle. And then I restrain. I have “deep water faith in the shallow end”. I can stand at the edge of the water, feet still planted firmly on the ground and say “sure… I have faith” but if I’m not willing to step into the deepest part where I can’t see but only trust, then where am I?

I don’t want to start the New Year in the middle. So today I am shooting for just past the middle and see where I end up in the coming year. If you find yourself caught somewhere between who you are and who God wants you to be, or who you used to be and who you want to be, remember that He is always near. He loves you no matter what and He will never stop trying to bring you closer to Him.

I wish each of you a happy, healthy and blessed New Year and pray that you seek God and find Him in everything you do!


“A Time and a Purpose”


To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven – Ecclesiastes 3:1

During the course of this past week, I had two friends share good news with me. These two different friends are in the same situation and had the same news to share. Both were surprised by this news and during conversations through the week with both, I had the chance to bring God into the conversation. The one friend was praising God endlessly for her blessing. I was so happy to share this praise with her and it brought happy tears to my eyes. I said to her “nothing is impossible for God!” and she wholeheartedly agreed. She has waited on God’s timing for this moment to happen and has no doubt that her trust and faith in Him are to thank for her joyous news.

The other friend was detailing the events of her news and was questioning why this was happening in her life right now when she was sure she had prayed for something similar before and it had never been answered. She saw the way it happened as peculiar and she said “it’s just so odd”. I said “not odd…God!!”  I explained how God’s timing is not our timing. He has the plan already laid out.

I suppose her doubts come and go and she wonders where God was during unanswered prayers. It happens to us all and I completely understand because I have been there. How often do we do this? We are disappointed when it seems as if God is ignoring us but then when the prayer is answered, do we doubt that God was responsible? Do we think He’s too busy? Do we think we don’t deserve it? Or do we go as far as to think that it just isn’t possible that God can do all things?

People often question God’s abilities because it just doesn’t seem “humanly possible”.  But that’s the thing…God is not like us. He is infinite! He is not limited by time and space. We can’t even begin to comprehend the extent of His knowledge and power. We must simply trust and always remember…NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD.

For nothing is impossible with God – Luke 1:37